Login / Create an Account

humor

Facts No One Knows

More to come soon! Hope you enjoy it, so many made me laugh.
~Maya S., reporter

Thomas CRAPPER popularized the toilet.

A war between Greece and Bulgaria began because a dog crossed their border.

The longest one syllable word in the English language is "screeched".

A chameleon's tongue is longer than its body.

Snail mucus trails are so effective that they can travel across the edge of a razor
without injury.

Hawaii is moving toward Japan at a rate of about 4 inches per year.

A dentist invented the electric chair.

Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel, but he turned it down.

Einstein's final words died with him-the nurse at his bedside didn't speak German!

Jellyfish evaporate in the sun. They're 98% water.

 

how to fire a musket

These are the rules for firing a musket.

1. Always keep the trigger facing away from you. If the trigger is facing you, chances are you’re moments away from blowing your head off.

2. Do not lower the barrel of the musket once powder has been loaded into it. The powder will fall out, and you will not fire.

3. Do not leave your ramrod on the ground. Without it you cannot fire.

4. You MUST have four teeth, two upper, two lower. You use them to tear open the cartridges. You can’t do it with your hands because you have a musket in one hand and the cartridge in the other.

 

The Turfly

A turfly is a mix of a tortoise, unicorn, and bird. It is the shape of a tortoise, but it has wings like a bird and a horn on its head like a unicorn.

The turfly is now Ariana's pet. It is one of the only turflies left, so she is taking very good care of it. She gives it tomatoes, lettuce leaves, and black olives. When she tickles its belly it goes cross-eyed! Weird, right?

Do you know where she got it? It came from a strange pet shop where the owner is a dog that talks and you get everything free. Awesome! They also sell wombats.

 

Dumb Questions From Parks/Historic Sites In Pennsylvania

On our family's trip to Pennsylvania this year, I asked the rangers at parks and historic sites (like last year) what the stupidest questions they've ever gotten from visitors had been. They didn't disappoint! Here's another list of funny questions for you. Smile

Liberty Bell
Didn't the Liberty Bell used to be bigger?

Is it true that the Liberty Bell is made of horse manure?

Leonardo Da Vinci made the Liberty Bell, right?

Independence Hall

(asking a security guy, who of course has no idea) What kind of tree is that and how old is it?

How do I get out? (facing an open gate with "exit" sign)

Is that (independence hall, small-ish RED brick building) the white house?

What time is the 2:30 tour?

 

The Depressing Day

Eight-thirty Tuesday evening, the little man, Alfried Herring, walked up to the small building where his eight O’clock group therapy class was being held (which he thought was a club for senior citizens). “Ha, I’m early.” Alfried said as he stood in front of the building, taking in his surroundings. “I might as well go inside, I am paying for this.” he said with a sigh. As he entered the building, he waved to the tall, skinny man sitting behind the counter, “Hey, Bill.” Alfried said as he passed by. “Hey, Al.” Bill replied without looking up from the magazine he was hiding under the counter. As he walked into the room, he was greeted by the rest of his class, along with the class instructor, Jimmy. “Ok, now that every one is here, we can start. Hello everyone, how are you doing?” “Good, good” was the muffled reply of the depressed class.

 

Dumb Questions From Parks All Over America

My family and I went on a road trip this Summer with our pop-up camper and stayed at lots of parks from Georgia to Wyoming. At each place we stayed at, I asked the Park Rangers what the dumbest questions they've ever gotten from tourists have been. I only hope that asking about dumb questions can't be considered a dumb question.

Jewel Cave National Monument

"How much of the cave is underground?" Ahem. It's all underground, that's why it's a cave.

"Where are the Buffalo?" (after just driving past 240 of them)

During a tour of the Jewel cave, after the Ranger had explained the rules about not touching anything in the cave because it was fragile and so on, someone asked, "I know this is just a replica of the actual cave, but are we anywhere close to the real one?"

Crazy Horse Memorial